When They Don’t Choose You.
I woke up and this was on my mind and heart today. I want to talk about when a client, OR a person doesn’t choose you. I thought, wow, this isn’t just for a wedding photographer like myself, but for everyone! Let’s face it, at some point everyone will face rejection whether in business, relationships, or life. I can just imagine a man sitting at the table with his face in his hands, as his wife pushes divorce papers in front of him. I can see the girl who didn’t get picked for the cheerleading team. I see a new salesman who can’t seem to meet his quota at the car dealership, and he feels like a failure. Mr. Wall street man gets handed his first big deal and drops the ball. Everyone got invitations to the party BUT you. OR worst-case scenario, you are passionate and over qualified for a position and they pick someone who will do a horrific job! That’s classic.
Can I tell you the truth? I’ve been dumped. I’ve always been last pick in PE to be on teams(rightly so, I’m no athlete haha). I’ve also been told, were going with a different wedding photographer. All of it can be compared to being stabbed with a knife, or jumping off a high dive knowing that there is cement waiting for you. Kill me now. These are things that happen. They make you sit and think, what is wrong with me? I am just not good enough. Let me just tell you right now that thought process is complete bullshit. We need to learn how to “lose well”. By that, I mean, when you lose (because you will) bettering yourself instead of feeling sorry for yourself. That is “losing well”.
Can I say it’s not always easy? But it can be done. Let’s ask ourselves these questions. How can you do it better next time when you get the chance? How can we use rejection as motivation, instead of becoming bitter? How can we stay humble, yet dominate? Sometimes you aren’t for everyone. That’s okay, you will be for someone. Let me share a saying that I have heard since I was a little child. I forget it so often, but it never loses its strength. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can,And wisdom to know the difference.”
I have a friend who applied for Medical School several times & kept getting rejected. She was discouraged, and I can remember reading some of her Facebook posts thinking, I hope this doesn’t stop her because we are all watching her. If she quits, then what? I know she has it in her! Sometimes it takes more than discouragement to put out a flame when you REALLY KNOW your purpose. Fortunately for her, she knew her purpose and nothing could stop her. She is now on her way to become a Doctor. Her story inspires me and reminds me that there is no time to feel sorry for yourself.
These days I’m getting to the point where rejection is kind of what I eat for breakfast. I know that sounds crazy, but I’ve come to the point where I truly believe its someone’s loss if they go somewhere else because I am so passionate about what I do, and how i work with people. I live for rejection because it so deeply motivates me to do better, be better, and dominate in life. For every 5 no’s I receive in the business world I also receive a 1 yes, so technically the more No’s I get the better. I didn’t always feel that way, 3 years ago I would be crying in my room for 2 months if rejection came into my life. But life happens and we have to choose how WE will respond to rejection. Do you “lose well” or do you key your ex boyfriends car, or trash talk people? lol. Be honest with yourself, how do you respond?
Key notes to take away from this.
- Stuff happens, its ok. Get better not bitter.
- If your losing out because you/your business needs improvement, do whatever it takes to make that happen. Take charge of your situation, don’t sit back and whine.
- Know your value & your Purpose. If someone doesn’t like you (or your work, or business), it’s there loss and remember that someone else will like what you have to offer.
- Learn to embrace rejection. For every no you receive, you get close to a yes.
I leave you with this today. When you fail, try harder. Have courage & most importantly be kind (even if it’s from a distance).
Love you all so much.